Men are often expected to know what to do: solve the problem, keep going, be useful, stay in control. That works until the problem is something you can’t simply fix — a relationship that keeps going wrong, confidence that has disappeared, anxiety you can’t reason away, or a growing sense that you’re not particularly happy with the life you’re living.
If any of that feels familiar, the next step is to start making sense of it...
Counselling that makes room for the whole picture
Not just what you’re feeling, but what’s happening in your relationships, choices and the way you see yourself.
Men come to counselling at different stages of life and for very different reasons. I work with men of different ages and backgrounds, both gay and straight. Some arrive knowing exactly what they want help with; others simply know that something isn’t working as well as it used to.
You may be dealing with anxiety or low mood, struggling with confidence, finding yourself continually putting other people first, or having difficulty setting boundaries. Relationships can become complicated or repetitive, and you may recognise behaviours or choices that keep leading you back to the same frustrations.
For some men, questions around masculinity, sexuality, fatherhood, loneliness, ageing, work or simply where life is heading can also become important.
Counselling gives us the opportunity to look at these things properly. That can mean understanding where certain patterns came from, but it can also mean being honest about the part you may play in keeping them going. I don’t believe therapy should be about blaming yourself or somebody else. It is about developing enough understanding to recognise where you have choices and what you might want to do differently.
My style is open, straightforward and collaborative. I’ll listen carefully, but I won’t simply sit back and agree with everything you say. I may ask questions, offer another perspective or respectfully challenge something when I think it could be useful. You don’t need to know the right words or be particularly comfortable talking about feelings — we can start with what is actually happening in your life and work from there.